Kakkoi

I hate playing with dinosaurs. Common sense would dictate that they would be excellent poker players, as they are incapable of facial expression. I’ve deduced that when they lunge at you and eat your face, they’re displeased, but I don’t know if you could call that a facial expression per se. It’s like Wild West movies where everybody pulls out a six-shooter, except instead of a gun, it’s a dinosaur, and instead of being shot, your face gets eaten. However, I digress. My original point was that dinosaurs should be good at poker, and yet this is simply not the case. Take, for example, a game I held earlier this very evening.

Tyrannosaur

We had just started and already things were not running smoothly. The Tyrannosaur’s forearms, while useful to countering the weight of his massive head and upper body, are as ineffective at shuffling a deck of cards as they are in battle. The others didn’t even have arms. Having horns, spikes and armoured skin is swell and all, but it doesn’t help you look at your cards.

It was Diplodocus’s turn first, but of course he wasn’t paying attention. Instead, he was grazing leaves at treetop level using his long, elegant neck. “Diplodocus,” I said, “Please stop eating leaves and check.” He ignored me. I persisted. “Diplodocus please, we are trying to have a game here. Check or fold.” He ignored me still and wandered off to another tree. I took that to mean that he folded.

The Stegosaurus was next. After careful deliberation, he bleated in annoyance.

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Tags: DeviantART, Fiction, Historical, Humour, Satire

This entry was posted on Friday, February 1st, 2008 at 10:22 pm and is filed under Literature, Prose. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.